Chelsea bring down their average age
June 27, 2011
Chelsea have defied all conventional wisdom and hired a manager who isn’t really old.
Andre Villas-Boas is so young, he didn’t even know that Ice Ice Baby was based around the bassline to Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie. Questioned about this conspicuous gap in his knowledge, he said: “So what? I is a football manager. I ain’t gotta know pop music and ting, innit.”
Chelsea have attempted to make their new boss feel more at home by installing PS3s in every room at Stamford Bridge. Villas-Boas is reported to feel ‘totally psyched’ by the gesture.
He is also delighted that Frank Lampard will be able to run him home in the next few months until he’s old enough to start having driving lessons.
John Terry hedges his bets like the spineless coward he is
June 3, 2011
Inbred adulterer with a face like a smack addict, John Terry, has said he would be happy with Mark Hughes as Chelsea manager. He then said he would also be happy with Guus Hiddink, because John Terry is a decision-avoiding numbnuts with faeces for brains.
Terry went on to say that he was sad to see Carlo Ancelotti leave.
If you gave Terry a choice between a solid gold car and a smack in the chops, he probably still wouldn’t have a preference. You’d have to make the decision for him. Unfortunately for him, I don’t have any solid gold cars at my disposal.
The season is taking shape
February 10, 2010
The past few games in the Premier League have really told us a lot with regards to the race for the title. While Arsenal have slipped up against Manchester United and now Chelsea (again), they host Liverpool tonight, live on SKY TV, hoping to consolidate the third spot rather than push on to be Champions. It should be a good game with the Gunners looking to prove doubters wrong that they aren’t a one dimensional team that cannot cope with the counter attack.
Manchester United, on the other hand, are going from strength to strength and are still in the hunt for three trophies (Premiership, Carling Cup and Champions League), and Chelsea likewise (Premiership, FA Cup and Champions League). It looks like it is going to be a battle until the end for the Premiership and the game between these two at Old Trafford on 3rd April will go some way to deciding it.
The Champions United play Aston Villa away tonight while Chelsea visit Everton, so there is still all to play for. The battle for fourth spot also intensified last night with Citeh beating Bolton and moving behind Liverpool on goal difference. Spurs are away at Wolves and can move into the coveted spot for the time being albeit having played a couple of games more than their closest rivals.
United hammer sorry Chelsea
January 11, 2009
Manchester United heaped the pressure on Premier League leaders Liverpool this afternoon with a thumping three nil victory against Chelsea.
In truth there was only ever one team in the contest and Big Phil Scolari now has serious issues if he is to keep his job at the end of the season. This was a tired, uninventive and weak Chelsea team who were always going to be brushed aside by the current Champions. Some bookies offered up to 20/1 for United to win three nil – if they knew how badly they would play, I guess they would not have gone anywhere near that mark.
So United have the opportunity to go top if they beat Wigan in midweek and Bolton following this. It would take a brave man to bet against the Old Trafford outfit being top by the time Liverpool play next. It certainly looks like the title is United’s for the taking with Liverpool and Chelsea seemingly faltering already. We all know how strong United are in the second half of the season and if you are a betting man then you could do worse than putting a few quid on Sir Alex claiming the quadruple this season.
Drogba to stay at the Bridge – for now!
December 16, 2008
One of the most interesting stories over recent weeks centres on Ivory Coast legend Didier Drogba and rumours of his impending move away from Stamford Bridge.
Drogba is thought to have held preliminary discussions with “the special one” about a potential move to Inter Milan although nothing concrete appears to have come from this.
Yet speculation continues to mount about Drogba’s future and this has been exemplified by Scolari’s apparent silence on the matter.
Drogba himself has recently stated that he is confident that he will be wearing the blue of Chelsea beyond January, but has refused to be drawn in to a discussion as to whether this will extend past the summer.
My own personal opinion is that the former Marseille hitman will stay at the Bridge during the forthcoming transfer window but will depart during the close season. In terms of whether or not he will renew his links with Mr Mourinho, I am not too sure – I think that he is more likely to leave for another European team and resist the temptation to link up with his former boss – particularly when there is speculation about his own future at the Italian giants!
If I was a Chelsea fan, I would appreciate Didier as much as you can until the end of the season, as he is almost certain to be leaving when it has finished.
Where do you think Drogba will move to? Let us know your thoughts.
United denied victory against Chelsea
September 21, 2008
It’s been a difficult start to the season for Manchester United, losing to Liverpool, drawing a blank at home in Europe and languishing in the bottom half of the table. What better way to get their season started than by beating Premiership rivals Chelsea on their own turf, and ending their 84 game unbeaten run at the Bridge?
That’s just what United came close to doing, as they led Chelsea after just 18 minutes through Ji-Sung Park. It wasn’t all United though as their Dutch keeper, van der Sar, went off injured in the first half, only to be replaced by Tomasz Kuszczak.
Chelsea came more and more into the game, with Cole and Anelka missing chances to equalise before Kalou preserved their unbeaten run with a header ten minutes from time.
Just like at Anfield last week, United started well but lost their way as the game went on, allowing the home side to dominate proceedings. Chelsea however, while happy with a point, could have won the game with the chances and dominance they had in the second half.
One good sign for United was Ronaldo coming on and again looking fit and ready for the season to begin in earnest. The draw does neither side much good, as Arsenal leap frogged Chelsea and Liverpool yesterday to lead the way, and United stay in the bottom half of the table.
John Terry to face Manchester United
September 16, 2008
As Chelsea stamped their intent on the Premiership title on the weekend, with a resounding 3-0 victory over Man City (spoiling Robinho’s debut in the process) the only downside to their weekend was the red card to captain JT. This meant he’d miss the next game, against champions Man UTD at the Bridge.
With a three game ban looming, Chelsea appealed the dismissal, from referee Mark Halsey, for a foul on the City striker Jo. He’d decreed that the foul by Terry was serious foul play and the Chelsea and England skipper received a straight red. However Chelsea’s appeal was successful, and the sending off has been overturned, allowing JT to play in the next three games, including the crunch match next Sunday against United.
Terry fouled Jo in the middle of the pitch, with Carvalho and Bosingwa both providing cover, meaning there was no goal scoring chance. However the referee sent JT off for serious foul play, which he had clearly not been guilty of.
That’s bad news for United, who are finding defending their title tough going. They’re only on four points from nine, and face a full strength Chelsea away, without defender Vidic who was red carded in their defeat to Liverpool.
Robinho scores on debut against Chelsea
September 14, 2008
He signed for £32.5m on transfer deadline day, snubbing Chelsea because Man City offered him more money. He was accused of being a football mercenary and the Real Madrid chairman said that by joining Man City it proved he didn’t leave Spain for footballing reasons.
Yet, the Brazilian striker Robinho put all of those comments behind him and showed just why City paid £32.5 million for him, by scoring on his debut with a typically Brazilian free kick.
Sadly his day was spoiled by Chelsea, who came from behind to power home 3-1 winners, and remain on top of the Premier League, just ahead of Liverpool.
Robinho scored his debut goal on 13 minutes, when he converted a 20 yard free kick to give City the lead. The excitement was short lived however, as Chelsea levelled just three minutes later through Carvalho, showing that the City optimism was short lived.
Lampard, then Anelka won the game for Chelsea in impressive style.
The only drawback for Chelsea was that John Terry was sent off for a foul on Jo, and will miss the game next week against champions Manchester United.
English quartet learn their fate in Champions League
August 28, 2008
The four English teams in the Champions League learned their fate in today’s draw, with champions Manchester United being drawn once again with Scottish side Celtic. Man UTD have a fairly easy group for them to navigate as they’re in the pot with Villareal of Spain and Aalborg of Denmark.
Chelsea have been paired with Italian side Roma, and two easier ties against Bordeaux of France and CFR Cluj of Romania.
Arsenal have the toughest group of the English sides, being drawn with FC Porto of Portugal, Dynamo Kiev and a tricky trip to Fenerbahce. Liverpool, who only scraped through last night, also have a difficult group in the shape of PSV, Marseille and Spanish side Atletico Madrid.
David Barnard, the Chelsea secretary, stated about his side’s draw:
It’s a mixed bag but any team that reaches the group stages has to be given respect.
We are totally focused on Champions League, the determination is there and they are completely focused on making the final again this year.
Rick Parry, the chief exec of Liverpool, was optimistic about his side’s chances this time around:
It’s not easy but the three teams are fairly close by and there’s no challenging trips.
There are no easy games – you just take it as it comes. We are just delighted to be in it.
The full draw is:
Group A
CHELSEA
Roma
Bordeaux
CFR ClujGroup B
Inter Milan
Werder Bremen
Panathinaikos
Anorthosis FamagustaGroup C
Barcelona
Sporting Lisbon
Basel
Shakhtar DonetskGroup D
LIVERPOOL
PSV Eindhoven
Marseille
Atletico MadridGroup E
MAN UTD
Villarreal
CELTIC
AalborgGroup F
Lyon
Bayern Munich
Steaua Bucharest
FiorentinaGroup G
ARSENAL
Porto
Fenerbahce
Dynamo KievGroup H
Real Madrid
Juventus
Zenit St Petersburg
Bate Borisov
Chelsea and Liverpool lead the way
August 24, 2008
Everyone has played twice now this season (bar Manchester United and Portsmouth, but they can’t effect the top spots) and it’s Chelsea and Liverpool who lead the way with six points each from a possible six.
What both teams have in common is that neither has looked very impressive so far, Chelsea’s 4-0 demolition of Pompy aside. Liverpool struggled to beat Sunderland 1-0 last weekend and then yesterday had to come behind and rely on captain fantastic Steven Gerrard to save them in stoppage time. Chelsea meanwhile looked very ordinary against Wigan today and thanks again to new signing Deco were able to steal a 1-0 away win.
Even at this early stage of the season, this signals very good news for both Chelsea and Liverpool, as winning when you’re playing badly is the key to success. Liverpool especially have been troubled in the past by putting on great performances, dominating games and not turning their possession into goals and points. More than one occasion in the last few years have Liverpool completely outplayed Manchester United at Anfield, only for the reigning champions to snatch a 1-0 win.
With United themselves stalling at home against Newcastle and Arsenal losing to Fulham, the league title looks to have some real competition this season.
Perhaps even Newcastle themselves, who occupy fifth spot right now and ground out a win while playing badly yesterday against Bolton, thanks to Michael Owen’s late winner.
The game is on, it seems.
